The Truth Will Haunt You
by Conflicted.But.Trying
Summary: Penelope is pulling away from the team, and they realize that there is a lot that they still don't know about her.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hi! this is my first fanfic, so go easy. I've had this idea floating around in my head for a while and figured it was time to put pen to paper. Emily is still on the team in this. Hope you enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters in it.**

I've been here for a while. Hours, maybe days have gone by. I already lost track. I know this isn't going to help or make things better, but I can't bring myself to leave. I just keep staring and staring. _Alone_. I am more alone now than I ever have been. Nobody knows, nobody could understand. There is no one left.

The wind picks up, and the empty bottle of whiskey falls to the floor. It was the only one I drank. Instead of making me forget, it reminded me of how disappointed in myself I was last time. The team might be looking for me, but then again, I did request vacation. I've been pulling away the last few months. No more movies with Derek, no more girl's nights with JJ and Emily, no more dinner with everyone after a rough case. I isolated myself from the only family I have left.

The worst part is that they tried. They called constantly to check up on me, and tried to include me in almost everything they did together. I always refused to go and said that everything was okay. They shouldn't have to deal with this, they have enough burden to carry. I don't realize I'm crying until I feel the tears splash on my folded hands. It isn't their fault I never told anyone what really happened, it's mine. I have to live with it. They are better without me now anyway.

The sun slowly came up and illuminated my surroundings. It was the end of May and the soft, warm breeze rustled the papers in my lap. I haven't slept or eaten since I walked here, and my eyes are only now starting to close. I bunch up my sweater and used it as a pillow as I shift to lay on the grass. The last thing I see before sleep overcomes me were the words that would haunt me forever.

Jesse Garcia - beloved daughter

Died June 15, 2003

7 years old


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey guys, I'm surprised that this was so well received, thank you for all of the favorites, follows, and reviews. I want to give a special shoutout to littleroundbird for helping me brainstorm. Enjoy :)**

Morgan strolled into the BAU Wednesday morning hoping to God that they didn't have a case. Although the rest of the team was trying to hide it, Garcia's sudden disappearance took its toll. Not only is she the best tech around, she also stayed at work the latest (other than Hotch) to get everything done. What a lot of people didn't realize was that every case report and all files have to be logged into the computer after a case. Every agent was supposed to do their own, but Garcia got it done in a quarter of the time, so she did all of theirs. It was just something that she always did, no questions asked. Everyone had been in work-overload since she left.

Derek sat at his desk and looked around. Only Hotch and JJ were here, and it gave him time to think. _When was the last time Baby Gi- No, Garcia took a vacation? _There were no more nicknames, she made that crystal clear. It seemed like she only took a break when the rest of the team did. He shouldn't care, obviously she didn't, but something was off about this. He suddenly got angry. _Even when she isn't here, or a part of our lives, she is all we can think about. This is her fault, and I shouldn't feel bad!_

"Hey Morgan, are you okay?" Reid had been watching Derek for a while, and knew something was wrong. He was tensed up with his eyebrows drawn together and his hands clenched in fists.

Derek looked down and glanced at the crescent shaped indents in his palm from his nails digging in, "Yes, I am fine."

Reid continued to stare at him, trying to see if he was telling the truth.

Morgan sat still and did some work, hoping Reid would just drop it. He was not in the mood for a heart-to-heart right now. Nothing else was said between the two until the rest of the team arrived. Everyone understood why Derek was upset because they felt the same. Garcia was there one minute, and then gone the next. Nobody knew what to make of it.

Emily went to sit at her desk while watching Morgan. He was obviously angry, and she shared a look with Reid, _Should I say anything?_ He seemed to get the message and shook his head no, but she wasn't convinced.

"Hey Morgan, how are you doing?" He shot her a glare the minute the words came out of her mouth.

"I am fine, why does everybody here think there is something wrong? _**I think **_ that you should all mind your business!" he said getting louder as he got more mad.

That was definitely not the response Emily expected, she sat shocked for a second, before her own anger kicked in.

"Okay, I've had enough of your crap! Yes, Garcia is your best friend, but this isn't all about you. She pulled away from all of us! She doesn't hang out with me and JJ anymore either. Maybe a vacation will be good for her, maybe not. Who knows!? I just know that I don't want to deal with you like this when I am just tring to be a good friend!" She stomped out of the bullpen and went directly to JJ's office.

"God, I can't believe that man with all his 'My Baby Girl is gone, poor me' and 'I have to do this by myself, and not tell anyone what I'm feeling' crap! Does he think he is her only friend?! I just..." she paused her rant when she saw JJ giving her a look.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit wound up over this. Don't you find it odd that she just left without telling us? I mean, we have been distant lately, but still." Emily said.

JJ took a minute to think, _It is a bit weird, and I have a bad feeling. _"Ya, I see where you are coming from. Right now though, we just have to focus on work and wait until she comes back."

\- Meanwhile in the Bullpen -

Now Derek felt guilty, Prentiss was right, he wasn't the only one suffering in this. This didn't help to make his mood any better though.

"Sorry kid, I'm just stressed and overreacting I guess."

Reid considered what he said for a minute, "It's fine, and I don't think you're overreacting that much. Just try not to take it out on us," he paused and then added "Maybe you could try to find her and figure out what's going on. Talking to her might make you feel better..."

"Ya, I already checked at her house. Esther is there, but her neighbor said he hasn't seen her in days. I'm not sure where to go anymore." _I've looked everywhere._ Derek began to get frustrated. Garcia's house, her favorite bar, the cafe she likes going to, and the theater have all been searched. She isn't in any of her normal places, and nobody has seen her. _How in the world am I supposed to find her?_

"Doesn't she have brothers? Maybe they know what's going on." Reid had a point, Garcia never talked about them, but the siblings may still be in touch.

"Good idea kid, I'll call them after work." _I hope she doesn't do anything stupid before I get to her. _With that, Morgan started on the seemingly endless pile of paperwork on his desk.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Sorry! I've been super busy and whatnot, and didn't have much time to update. I will add though that I have the whole story outlined, and just have to make time to type it all out. Hopefully I'll have more time soon! Flashbacks are in bold**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters in it.**

***Trigger warning - Abuse and mentions of rape***

I startle awake and frantically try to take in where I am. Grass, sun, gravestone. _Just a nightmare...or a memory. _Everytime I close my eyes I am haunted by them, the good and the bad. I remember the few pleasant times I had during my childhood, then the truly horrifying ones. The worst part is that even when I wake up, there is no escape. Everything I had buried within me for the past years are coming to light, and there is little I can do to stop it.

~Flashback~

**Rain drizzles around me, but the sun is peaking through the clouds. I let a dark chuckle out, **_**fitting that my hippie parents will probably get a rainbow for their funeral.**_ **Paul glares at me from across the graves, he blames me for everything that happened. Who wouldn't? Nobody has said anything about it, but they will soon. All of them are older and I need someone to take custody of me.**

**Paul is the oldest at 23, but also the most serious and snarky. Jake is 20, and is two years into college. Then there is Collin 18, the football star in high school and a risk taker. Born last, were me and Mark. He is 16, and I am 15. Being eighteen months apart, we were always joined at the hip. While the others would play football, we were picking dandelions and catching butterflies. Inseparable.**

**One by one each of us put flowers on Mom and Dad's graves. I didn't want to bury them, they wouldn't have wanted that. I wanted to cremate them, and spread their ashes at the beach, anything but this. They should be free spirits, even in the afterlife. Unfortunately, Paul took over and said no.**

**Through all of the grief and disagreement, I knew that I would still grow up with family. That was enough to keep me going.**

_**If only I knew how wrong I was.**_

~End Flashback~

I can't remember the last time I saw any of my brothers. I only called occasionally for a few years, and eventually stopped altogether. Especially after everything Paul and Jake put me through. They didn't realize it, but they were the reason my whole life shattered.

~Flashback~

**"What do you mean!" I screamed at Jake.**

**"Listen Penelope, we can't support all of you. Collin is going to college, and Mark Just got his driver's permit. I'm in the middle of my own schooling, and Paul just started his career! We don't have ANY money for an even bigger place to stay, and you will be the only girl. This is the only way it will work." Jake tried to explain.**

**"So you are just going to drop me! You can't do that, we are family! We are supposed to stick together!" I feel tears fall down my cheeks, but continue to yell, " Is this because of what happened? How they died? You guys used to break curfew all of the ti-"**

**"ENOUGH! Penelope this was already decided between me, Jake, and the lawyers. Collin and Mark will be living with me, and you have to go into foster care. This will be best for everyone, and that is the ****end ****of it." Paul stormed out of the room.**

_**This is a nightmare. I will wake up in 3...2...1...nothing. This can't be happening!**_

**"Penny?"**

**I look up and see Mark hovering over me.**

**"Mark, I'm scared." I whispered to him.**

**"Come here," He scooped me up in his arms and sat on the couch with me. "No matter what happens, I am always here for you. I will try to visit, and call you and write to you. It may not seem like it, but you aren't alone. I love you princess."**

**"Love you too." I muttered into his shirt.**

~End Flashback~

The last time I saw him face to face was when I left for my new foster home. I wrote to him all of the time, but I never got any in return. That could have been because of my foster parents though. I bounced around through the foster homes all through that summer, until my Social Worker found a family that was willing to house me during the school year. They were very nice people at first, as most are. The Social worker did check-ups to make sure I was okay frequently in the beginning, but those became scarce as time went on.

The couple had had foster children before, and were said to be very hospitable and kind. The woman, Brenda Riggs, lived up to the rumors. She was light-hearted, and generous, and stayed at home where she cooked, cleaned, and took care of the house. Albert Riggs was a quiet man in the beginning. He worked at a Post Office, and made a decent amount of money.

Everything changed when Brenda had a stroke, and slipped into a coma five months later.

~Flashback~

_**This is taking forever!**_ **I thought as the bus pulled up to another house. **_**I just want to sleep.**_ **With Mrs. Riggs gone, I have to do all of the chores and make dinner. I usually don't mind too much, if it makes thing easier on Mr. Riggs than I'm glad to help, but there are some days where I just want to relax. I want to have a normal life, with normal parents, and do normal family stuff. **_**Well, nobody is really normal, right?**_

**After what seemed lke years, the bus pulled up to my stop. I walk down the aisle and wave to the bus driver like every other day. It is mid-spring, and the flowers are in full bloom. I walk all the way around the outside of the beige house. It is a raised-ranch with a porch in the back that leads you down a walkway to the garden. Next to the garden is a swing with flowery cushions and a little roof to block the sun.**

_**Mr. Riggs isn't supposed to be home for a few hours, I have time to just sit down and relax a bit.**_

_**...**_

**"PENELOPE!" I jump up and quickly look around. Before I could figure out what was happening a fist from above collided with my cheek. I fell off the swing and to the floor, not processing anything but the searing pain in my face. My attention was soon diverted as I was pulled up by my hair.**

**"Please", I whimpered to my attacker. A sharp blow to the side made me keel over and struggle to breathe. A dark shadow was looming over me and I tried to crawl away. I was pulled up again and turned around.**

**"Mr. Riggs..." the sharp smell of alcohol invaded my nose as he laughed at me.**

**"Penny, I thought I told you I wanted dinner to be done and the house cleaned by the time I got home. Imagine my surprise when I found you **_**sleeping**_ **instead of doing your chores!" he wasn't yelling at me, but the menacing tone made me shiver in fear.**

**"I guess I'll just have to teach you a lesson, hmm?"**

~End Flashback~

I thought I was going to die that night. He brought me inside the house and to my bedroom, where he beat me just enough to get his point across, but not enough to break anything. Unfortunately, it only got worse from there. By the time I turned sixteen I had been beaten, whipped, locked in a closet for days on end, burned, and eventually, raped. I lost my virginity to my foster father.

"Miss. Garcia?" I snapped out of my reverie at the sound of the man's voice. He is a tall, hispanic man, and I sigh in relief when I spot him.

"Michael, do you have it?" I can see pity in his eyes, I must look like a wreck.

"I'm sorry, there was nothing left." _**Shit!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for taking forever to update, I broke my computer and school has been a bit much. This is just a little chapter to help get into the swing of things. I got all of your reviews and they made my day each time! I hope to post more regularly so stay tuned. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine :)**

S.S.A. Derek Morgan's brow creased with frustration and an oncoming headache. It was almost the end of the day and he was still unable to find or remember anything about the Garcia brothers. His mind drifted as he thought of what Penelope had said about them.

"_There are four of them, and they are all older than me. Nothing more to tell."_

That was years ago now and she hadn't spoken of them at all since he asked. How could anything drive siblings apart like that? Sure, him and his sisters fought, but never with such a bad outcome. Maybe after her parents died and she went underground… _THAT'S IT!_

This whole time he had been looking up men with the last name Garcia in San Francisco. However, a surefire way of getting to them was through anything posted about their _parents_. Derek's sudden furious clicking on his laptop drew the attention of Spencer Reid, who had been observing Morgan's odd behavior from the safety of his desk.

"What are you doing?" Spencer asked timidly, his curiosity getting the better of him.

Derek didn't stop typing as he replied, "Taking your advice, finding her brothers." Spencer had no doubt about who the 'her' he was referring to was. He didn't like the fact that Morgan was doing all of it on his own though. The team wasn't doing much and could try to pitch in their efforts, even if it seemed like a waste of time. If Penelope Garcia did not want to be found, then she would not be found.

Looking at his hands nervously, Spencer quickly said, "I think we should have the team help out. Under the table of course, the director would never allow us to try and find an agent that just seems to be taking a vacation. Everyone else is worried too though, even though they aren't showing it and I really think it might be beneficial to everyone if we…" Derek gave him a look and waited until he stopped rambling.

"Okay, we could ask Hotch and call the brothers with the rest of the team there if he agrees." Derek got up and headed for Hotch's office. When he was halfway there he looked behind him and called, "Aren't you coming kid? Two people asking will be better than one."

Spencer scurried after him praying that Hotch said yes. Penelope was like a sister to him and his gut was saying something was horribly wrong.

Briefing the team went as smooth as it could have. Everyone was more than willing to help and said they would put extra work hours into figuring this mess out. Unfortunately, there was only so much to go on with no leads, and the lack of reachable relatives. Everyone was in the conference room bouncing ideas off one another when Morgan suddenly got a hit. It was a newspaper article on Donna and Steve Garcia's death. It included an obituary listing all of their children.

"Guys, I found something." Once everyone has quieted down, Derek continued, " On April 16 1992, a drunk driver killed Donna and Steven Garcia… AHA! They left behind five children; Paul age 23, Jake age 20, Collin age 18, Mark age 16, and Penelope age 15."

Nobody said anything for a minute until Reid broke the silence, "Why did she lie?" When five faces stared at him in confusion he clarified, "She told us she was 18 when her parents died, why would she lie about that? It seems irrelevant…"

"The real question we should be asking," Rossi started, "is, what else has she lied to us about? We need to treat this case as if it is any other. There was a reason she lied to us about her age and I'm sure one way we can get a little closer to our answers is by calling her brothers. Get Lynch in here." His tone was final and everyone realized that he was right. This case was deeply personal, but they had to detach themselves as much as possible in order to solve it.

The taxi pulling up to the curb tore her out of her thoughts. "The nearest cafe please." she said to the graying man inside. The back of the cab smelt of oil and old socks, but the man driving was well groomed. His khakis had no stains and his shirt was wrinkle free. The small beard he had was dark with small white patches.

"Sure thing kiddo." he replied with a slight southern accent. The land outside whipped past the taxi and the two passengers sat in companionable silence. Penelope's serenity was suddenly interrupted as thoughts of what she needed to do clouded her mind. Her mind flashed to the events from the past few months. It had been more than difficult for her to isolate herself from the team, but once it had been done she felt almost relieved

It was hard to believe she would ever actually have a family that would care about her. Hell, it was hard to believe she would ever have a family period.

The distance from the team made her remember that nothing is ever permanent. Nobody ever stays. That's just how life is.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yaas, back in the swing of things! Thanks for all of the support, it has been super helpful. XOXOXO**

***Trigger Warning***

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, nothing is mine.**

"_Ms. Garcia, could you please describe the night of August 8th, 1995?" My attorney knew I was somewhere else at the moment, and gave me a comforting look. It didn't help._

"_I had gotten home from hanging out with friends around five o'clock. Mr. Riggs wasn't home, so I started to pack up all of my belongings from my room..." I started, surprised at how quiet the courtroom was. It was mid-October, but the air was hot and tense. Mr. Finch, my attorney, said that cases like mine were taken very seriously._

"_Could you inform the people present why you were packing please, Ms. Garcia?" He gave me another reassuring look as I thought about how to phrase my answer._

_The courtroom waited patiently for me to start, "My birthday is on August 9th. I was turning eighteen the next day and could legally live on my own without having Mr. Riggs try to bring me back. I had been dreaming of leaving and never having to see him again for so long, that I was prepared to run the minute the clock struck midnight." I was prepared for Mr. Finch's next few questions. He had told me that in order to win over the jury, we had to try and prove to them that there is nothing for me to hide. Everything about how I have lived for the past few years needed to be out in the open._

"_Had you run away before then, Ms. Garcia?" He was the picture of calm._

"_Yes," I tried to look as self-assured as he did, "I ran away three other times prior to my birthday. Once about six months into my stay with Mr. Riggs, another time when I turned sixteen, then again a little while after I turned seventeen."_

_He looked happy with my answer and asked again, "Picking up where you left off, what happened that night?"_

_I looked hesitantly around the courtroom, but found that once I started talking the words poured out without any end in sight. "I was almost finished packing when Mr. Riggs got home. I was pretty sure he was drunk because he always called me 'Penny' when he had a few too many beers. He walked into my room and saw all of my stuff packed and i- He seemed...upset." I said carefully. Mr. Finch gave me a nod and I continued, "He had done a lot of… things… to me over the years and I just _knew _that look on his face…"_

_The serenity my prosecutor had five minutes ago was broken and his face contorted with sympathy, "I'm sorry Ms. Garcia, but could you describe the 'things' he had done to you in the past?"_

_I shifted in my seat. Sweat was gathering on my forehead and I wiped quickly at it before responding. "Mr. Riggs started to verbally and physically abuse me after his wife died...I would get beaten once a week at first, but then it turned into every other day and whenever I did something wrong. Once he realized that there were more effective ways of causing me pain...he moved onto whips, waterboarding, and locking me into cupboards. One day though, a boy from my Sophomore class walked me home. Mr. Riggs had gotten home early that day and saw us. He must have looked too deep into it because that night he came into my room… and started yelling an- I didn't know what was happening but he ra- sexually assaulted me." _

_That word. __**Rape**__. I couldn't say it out loud, couldn't victimize myself any further. It sounded so evil and cruel and not right. My life wasn't supposed to be revolving around this. I knew that winning the case was going to be one of the only ways to truly get Albert Riggs out of my life._

_Mr. Finch looked like he was about to ask another question when I interrupted with, "He didn't use a condom… He always used a condom up until that night." Mr. Finch swiftly moved from the witness stand to the front table and grabbed a file._

"_Your Honor, I would like to submit this item as prosecution evidence #16." He waited for the Judge to look over it and nod before showing it to the jury. A sonogram. _


End file.
